here ---> <--- here
| background |
| h1 |
| h2 |
| h3 |
| h4 |
My uncle's cousin's sister's nephew has this friend. He's in jail now. It looks like he's going to be there a loooong time.
So, this friend, he went to this protest, about books, and he brought a shotgun. He was carrying it on his shoulder, waving it around at everyone.
So there he was, was marching around with this shotgun over his shoulder, reading "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" out loud, when the police come up and say: "Sir, you are being a public nuisance waving that around."
"What, the shotgun?" he asks.
"No, the book! Hand it over," says the policeman.
So the friend said, "You'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead fingers!" And he and the policeman, they got in this arguing match. The friend was waving Twain's Pride in the air. He had his loaded shotgun propped up on his foot, like a cane.
You might be thinking that this friend is pretty stupid, pointing a loaded shotgun at his foot and getting in a heated argument with a policeman. Yah, I can't say for sure that you'd be wrong about that.
THEN, this little old lady snuck up, and tried stealing his shotgun off him while he wasn't paying attention. Well, the friend snapped around, and they started wrestling over the shotgun. He and the little old lady. The policeman, he just sort of stood back and watched. Eventually the friend got the shotgun back, and when he did, he took the shotgun and clocked the little old lady over the head with the shotgun's butt. The little old lady held her head and said "Ow!"
The policeman immediately arrested him for assault. With a deadly weapon. He's in jail now.
The way my uncle's cousin's sister's nephew figures it, it's a Stand Your Ground state. His friend was being attacked. He would have been better off shooting the little old lady rather than hitting her in the head with the gun. Really, he had set himself up just by bringing a shotgun to a protest in the first place. The friend, he figures the policeman saw he was working himself up to do something really stupid, and he could have stepped in early and prevented the whole mess. But he had it in for the friend because he didn't like Huckleberry Finn so he just let it all play out.
The shotgun got adopted by a local well-tempered militia and lived happily ever after.